5 Things To Look For In Mr. Right

 

Last week, we focused on qualities that a man would look for in a woman, and we looked at Ruth, a woman who got her man by exemplifying those qualities. Today, in keeping with the theme of love for this month, I want to look at qualities a woman would look for in a man. 

The Bible highlights many mighty men of God who were good husbands and fathers, but nowhere do we get a love story as intense or as fraught with difficulties as the one between Jacob and Rachel. And for that reason I chose Jacob. Yes, I know, his very name means 'trickster', but as we read in the book of Genesis, Jacob proved to be not just a good husband but a man who walked with God.

1.  A man of God. Jacob leaves home as his mother advised him, fearing that his brother Esau would kill him for stealing his birthright. On the first night of his journey, God appears to Jacob in a dream and promises to bless him and his seed. Jacob wakes up the next morning and consecrates that place to God. Later on, we'll see God's guidance and blessings following Jacob throughout his life.

2. A loving man. The next thing he does is kiss Rachel. I don't think this was a romantic kiss. The men of the town had told him that she is the daughter of his uncle, Laban, whom he's come looking for. The Bible says, "And Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice, and wept.  And Jacob told Rachel that he was her father's brother, and that he was Rebekah's son:" (Genesis 29 : 11 - 12). It could be that Jacob is overcome with emotion at finding his cousin.

3. A hard-working man. Women love a man who is responsible and hard-working. Jacob certainly proves that when he says to Laban, "I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter" ( v 18). The Bible goes on to say, "And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her" (v 20). When a man truly loves a woman nothing is too much for him to do for her. Jacob is not only hard-working, he is shrewd. When Laban tries to rob him of his wages, Jacob manipulates the livestock, causing him to own more than Laban and increase in wealth.

4. A faithful man. Jacob is faithful to Rachel even though he has children by three other women. This has to be looked at in the cultural norms of the time. It was common for a barren woman to give her maid to her husband in order to have children. Laban tricks Jacob by giving him Leah, his older daughter, instead of Rachel, on his wedding night. This starts a long, agonizing chain of events which Jacob seems unable to break out of.  

5. A committed man.  Eventually Jacob takes his wives and children and leaves Laban's home for good. However, he remains committed to Rachel and Joseph, the son she bore him. When he hears that his brother Esau is coming to meet him, Jacob thinks Esau is about to wreak vengeance on him for stealing his birthright. As Esau and his entourage draw near, Jacob puts Rachel and Joseph at the back of the other wives to spare them from being hurt. 

Ladies, your Mr. Right may not possess all the above qualities, but he should at least demonstrate the first and the last. Without those two, your relationship may be on rocky ground. If you are looking for Mr. Right, ask God to lead you to him.

Redefining The Family

This past week one of my young co-workers broke the news that she was pregnant. We were all happy for her and told her so, but after the excitement died down, I felt a tinge of sadness. You see, my friend is unmarried and her baby's father lives in another country. Another young member of our team is also pregnant with her second child and has no intention of getting married any time soon.

In the first instance, my friend does have plans of joining her boyfriend at some time. They had been talking of marriage, but she didn't want to leave her dog, who is very old, and he didn't want to leave his country. They both agreed that when her dog dies they would make it legal. But meanwhile, a baby is on the way.

In another instance, the daughter of one of my friends decided that she wanted to have a baby because her biological clock was ticking away and she wasn't married or dating anyone. So off she went and had a baby by artificial insemination.

Do you see a pattern here? More and more women are taking it on themselves to have children outside of wedlock. Which brings me to another increasingly popular trend. Homosexual couples adopting babies or having babies through artificial means. All of this goes against God's plan for the family as laid out in the book of Genesis.

 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him (Genesis 2 : 18). 

And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said , This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.  And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed (22 - 25). 


I love the picture of God, our Father giving his daughter Eve to her husband Adam. It is the pattern we follow in a marriage ceremony where the father escorts his daughter to the altar and gives her to her husband to be joined in holy matrimony. Then they have children. Not the other way around. 

There are some single mothers who are probably doing a better job than their married counterparts. But I'm sure the single ones will be the first to admit that their job is a very difficult one. God never meant for us to carry the load alone. Just as a tasty dish requires a mixture of spices to bring out its true flavor, just so the family benefits from the unique strengths, abilities and personality that a man and a woman bring to it.

And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark, to keep them alive with thee; they shall be male and female (6 : 19).

Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. 10 For if they fall , the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth ; for he hath not another to help him up (Ecclesiastes 4 : 9 - 10).

The family, as instituted by God, is His plan for the furtherance of His kingdom on this earth and for our well-being. God has been around a lot longer than any of us and He knows what is best for us. So let us not go reshaping and redefining everything He created. We are only destroying ourselves in the process. Can we change course?