What Does The Ideal Father Look Like?

I once heard a man say that people make far more fuss over Mother's Day than they do Father's Day. Well, according to statistics, Father's Day spending seems to be on the heels of Mother's Day figures by around five billion dollars. And Dad is not just getting neckties and socks anymore. He is getting high end products like ipads, cell phones and golf clubs.

That is all very good, but what do we want from Dad? When I listen to a lot of men speak, they don't seem to have had much of a relationship with their fathers. And that's a shame, because fathers are, or ought to be, the backbone of the home - the one who keeps it from falling apart. It is no secret that children from homes where the father is absent, physically or emotionally, are more likely to drop out of school and/or end up in jail or on the streets. Sadly, a disproportionate number of African American homes fall into this category.

So what does the ideal father do to keep his home strong and stable? As always, the answers are in the Bible. The ideal father:

1. Builds his house upon the rock. Jesus said, "Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock" (Matthew 7: 24 - 25).

What was Jesus referring to? He was referring to the storms of life that we all inevitably experience. The father who builds his house on the foundation of God's word does not have to fear the storms. His house will remain strong, no matter how much the storms rage.

2. Demonstrates love. Not just to his kids, but to those around him. He treats his wife like a queen; he does not abuse her or speak harshly to her, but loves her "as Christ loves the church." When his sons see that, they will follow his example. The ideal father demonstrates love to his children by the way he disciplines them - with love. The Bible says, "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath : but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6 : 4).

3. Gives. The ideal father gives to his family, his community and his church. He is not mean or stingy, but gives liberally of all that he has. He works hard to provide well for his family, but he also gives of his time. No amount of toys or gifts can replace the time a man spends with his family. The father who takes his sons fishing, his wife and/or daughters to the mall (yes, to the mall) or just hangs out with them on a weekend is more appreciated than the one who lavishes them with expensive gifts and then disappears until Sunday night. 

Being a father is no easy task, neither is it to be taken for granted. In order to be a good father a man needs to be equipped. There is only one training manual for that - the word of God. Fathers, read it daily. Feast on it day and night. Pray to God; He is the only ideal Father, but if you ask Him, He will give you the wisdom and strength to fulfill this exciting role. Call on Him today. Happy Father's Day! 

Are You Concerned About Your Appearance?

I would hazard a guess that most people would reply 'yes' to the question above. After all, it's the culture we live in. Every minute of the day we are bombarded with ads showing us how to be more beautiful. We spend a small fortune on everything from gym memberships, cosmetics and diet products. Even the women of the Bible must have looked like supermodels. Ruth caught Boaz's eye the first day she worked in his field; King Xerxes fell in love with Esther the moment he saw her; Rachel was "beautiful and well favoured". Even ninety-year-old Sarah was so beautiful, when she and her husband Abraham were traveling through Egypt, she was taken into the Pharaoh's house because of her beauty (Genesis 12 : 11 - 15).

Beautiful people seem to get the best breaks, regardless of the culture, but how much attention should you give to making and keeping yourself beautiful? Does God care whether you are beautiful or not? Well, He made you in His own image and likeness, therefore you will always be beautiful in His eyes, no matter what you or the world thinks.

Saul, king of Israel, was described as "a choice young man, and a goodly: and there was not among the children of Israel a goodlier person than he: from his shoulders and upward he was higher than any of the people" (1 Samuel 9 : 2). However, when Saul disobeyed God, He sent the prophet Samuel to Jesse who had eight sons to anoint one of them king. Samuel looked at Eliab, the oldest, and thought he must be the chosen one. But God said to Samuel, "Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth ; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart" (1 Samuel 16 : 7). In the end God chose David, whom he later referred to as "a man after his own heart."

There is nothing wrong in being careful about your physical appearance. After all, if you are representing "the fairest of ten thousand", then you should try to look fair yourself. David was "ruddy, and withal of a beautiful countenance, and goodly to look to," ( v 12), but he did not count on his looks to get him what he wanted. When he went to fight Goliath he said, "Thou comest to me with a sword, and with a spear, and with a shield: but I come to thee in the name of the LORD of hosts ..." (1 Samuel 17 : 45). Queen Esther fasted in order to find favor with the king; Ruth obeyed her mother-in-law's instructions and secured herself a wealthy husband. Looks alone will not get what you want.

If you find yourself spending unnecessary time and/or money on your looks, consider the examples above. Being beautiful may get you where you want to go in this world, but it won't get you where you ought to be with God. If Jesus Christ lives in you, His beauty will shine through you and others will see it. Remember, you are made in His image and likeness. You are beautiful.

 

Which Gods Do You Worship?

A week ago I returned from an exciting cruise to the Adriatic. Our ports included several places in Greece, Croatia, Ephesus and Venice, Italy. The tour did not disappoint. I joined throngs of people exploring the wonders of the ancient world which, in some cases, have been excavated and preserved for our benefit. It was wonderful to see my history books, and the Bible, come alive.

Part of Poseidon's temple, Athens, Greece

Many of us chuckled as our guides recounted some of the stories of the gods who have graced the pages of Greek mythology. There is the popular story of the contest between Poseidon and the goddess Athena after whom Athens is named. She defeated Poseidon in becoming the god of the city by creating an olive tree  as a symbol of peace and prosperity on the earth.  Poseidon's gift of water, which later turned salty, was rejected by the king. Poseidon was known to be moody and bad-tempered, often seeking revenge on those who crossed him. The ruins of his temple can be seen in Athens, Greece.

Here I am standing in front of one of the gates of the Acropolis

Then there was Zeus, the supreme god, ruler of mankind, worshiped by Greeks. Zeus, unlike Poseidon, was usually fair in his dealings, but even he had his moods. In a good mood he would bless the world with beautiful weather; in a bad mood he would send rain, lightning and thunder. He must have been in a bad mood when we visited the ruins of his temple in Olympia, for it was raining when we got there.

What did I tell you about the rain? Near the temple of Zeus

But why am I telling you all this? Because as I said before, the Bible also came alive for me on this trip. Our guides in Ephesus and in Athens each mentioned the apostle Paul's work in those cities and how he was able to convert many people from paganism to Christianity.

Then Paul stood in the midst of Mars' hill, and said , Ye men of Athens, I perceive that in all things ye are too superstitious.  For as I passed by , and beheld your devotions , I found an altar with this inscription , TO THE UNKNOWN GOD. Whom therefore ye ignorantly worship , him declare I unto you.  God that made the world and all things therein , seeing that he is Lord of heaven and earth, dwelleth not in temples made with hands;  Neither is worshipped with men's hands, as though he needed any thing, seeing he giveth to all life, and breath, and all things; Acts 17: 22 - 26.

The Greeks, zealous as they were in their worship of many gods, were only too willing to hear about another god,  made an altar to the UNKNOWN GOD who, perhaps, might excel over their gods.  But Paul explained that the true God is not man-made.

Forasmuch then as we are the offspring of God, we ought not to think that the Godhead is like unto gold, or silver, or stone, graven by art and man's device.  And the times of this ignorance God winked at ; but now commandeth all men every where to repent : (v 29 - 30).

After Paul's teaching the Bible says,   "And when they heard of the resurrection of the dead, some mocked : and others said , We will hear thee again of this matter.  So Paul departed from among them.  Howbeit certain men clave unto him, and believed : among the which was Dionysius the Areopagite, and a woman named Damaris, and others with them (v 32 - 34).

So, I ask you, which gods do you worship? Do you worship gods made by hands, as the ancient Greeks did, or do you worship the gods of this present world? Money, power, beauty, possessions? History has taught us that the gods of the ancient Greeks were just myths, invented by the minds of men who erected monuments to make them seem real. The God we worship requires no monument; in fact he forbids it. Exodus 20: 4. Neither is He moody. He is the same yesterday, and today and forever. Hebrews 13 : 8. He wants us to love Him and worship Him by faith in His Son Jesus Christ. Then one day we will see Him face to face. But until then, let's worship Him and only Him.

What's In Your Ziplock Bag?

In my last post I wrote about overcoming tiredness. I spoke about the busyness that has taken over our modern lifestyle, leaving us tired and irritable. If you did not read this post, you can read it here. Someone may argue that this cannot be helped, that our family, our work, our leisure pursuits all have to be taken care of, and that may be true, but when they begin to encroach on your relationship with God, then there is a problem.

When I first thought of writing this post, I visualized a ziplock bag full of little balls, representing the way we spend our time, each ball with a label, none of them having anything to do with God. There may even be a few ungodly balls.  Such is the life of a person who has allowed himself to be taken over by the things of the world. If you are a follower of Christ, your ziplock bag should contain more godly balls than secular ones.  

As a Christian, your first and utmost responsibility should be nurturing and strengthening your relationship with God. Everything else should take second place.

Jesus said, "He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me" (Matthew 10: 37).

On one occasion when He called a man to come and follow Him and the man asked to be allowed to first go and bury his father, Jesus replied, "Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead"( Matthew 8: 22).

Was Jesus being callous or uncaring? No. He was only trying to teach us how to prioritize our lives. He said, "Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat , or what ye shall drink ; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on . Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?" (Matthew 6 : 25).    

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you" (v 33).

In other words, put God first and everything else will fall into place.

 The danger in allowing ourselves to put other things first is that we don't realize when they begin to replace God in our lives. Like weeds in a garden, they can easily overgrow and choke out our godly lifestyle if we are not vigilant. Our family, our work, our interests are all important in themselves, but they should not be allowed to erode God's place in our lives. 

If you find yourself being too busy or too tired to pray, study the word or even go to church, then you are in trouble. Step back and take a critical look inside your ziplock bag today. If it's chock full of things that don't pertain to a godly lifestyle, toss them into the garbage and fill it with the things of God. 

How To Overcome Tiredness

When was the last time you took a break from your busy schedule to rest and spend some time with God? One of the complaints I hear very often is tiredness. In today's busy world with so many demands being made on our time, it's easy to become tired. And tiredness leads to irritability, frustration and eventually resentment at our way of life. God does not want His children to be tired all the time. In the book of Exodus, he commanded the children of Israel to rest.

Six days thou shalt do thy work, and on the seventh day thou shalt rest : that thine ox and thine ass may rest , and the son of thy handmaid, and the stranger, may be refreshed - Exodus 23: 12

Everyone, including the animals, had a time of rest. Later, God commanded that the land be allowed to rest.

And six years thou shalt sow thy land, and shalt gather in the fruits thereof: 11 But the seventh year thou shalt let it rest and lie still; that the poor of thy people may eat : and what they leave the beasts of the field shall eat . In like manner thou shalt deal with thy vineyard, and with thy oliveyard. - v 10 - 11.

When He walked the face of this earth, He often called away His disciples for a time of rest and relaxation.

And he said unto them, Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest a while: for there were many coming and going , and they had no leisure so much as to eat - Mark 6 : 31.

Jesus knew the benefits of rest to the human body. However, He also promised rest for the soul.

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden , and I will give you rest . Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.  Matthew 11 : 28 - 30.

Hebrews 4 : 3 states, For we which have believed do enter into rest, as he said , As I have sworn in my wrath, if they shall enter into my rest: although the works were finished from the foundation of the world. 

If you find yourself being tired and irritable all the time, examine your lifestyle. Are you taking on too much? Are you reluctant to ask those around you for help? Do you find it difficult to say 'no' sometimes? Could you find an easier or simpler way of doing things? Are you a perfectionist?

Some or all of the above can contribute to a perpetual state of physical tiredness if we are not careful.  Mental or emotional tiredness is another matter. Sometimes we need a retreat from people and everyday situations. We need to get away from the crowds, as Jesus urged His disciples to do, so we can rest and refresh our souls.

As you meditate on the above scriptures, ask the Lord to show you how to deal with those areas of your life that are causing you tiredness, then do what He tells you to do.

Lessons From Ruth And From The Life Of Pi

This week I had the good fortune to see the movie, The Life Of Pi. I had read the book a few months earlier and therefore felt okay with seeing the movie. With excellent cinematography, acting and animation, the movie didn't disappoint, however, it couldn't get into the character's viewpoint the way the book does. But what struck me more when I saw the movie was the ending where Pi is relating his story to the narrator. He talks about the time he spent shipwrecked on a lifeboat with a 450-pound Bengal tiger, named Richard Parker.

After taking care of the tiger for 227 days while at sea - the main reason being that keeping the tiger alive meant keeping himself alive - the tiger departs with not as much as a backward glance when they finally make it to land. Pi becomes teary as he tells this to the narrator. He says, "After all we'd been through, I never expected him to leave me like that."

I couldn't help contrasting this story with the book of Ruth in the Bible. Ruth, a young Moabitess, accompanies Naomi her mother-in-law to Bethlehem after Ruth's husband dies. This despite the fact that Naomi begs Ruth and her other daughter-in-law, Orpah, to return to their families and try to make a life for themselves. Orpah kisses her mother-in-law and takes her advice, but Ruth decides to stick with Naomi.

Listen to what she says:  "Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest , I will go ; and where thou lodgest , I will lodge : thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:" (Ruth 1 : 16) 

Ruth is no Richard Parker. She is in it for the long haul. And as we see from the book, God rewards her for her faithfulness. Are you a Ruth, or a Richard Parker? Do you abandon those who have helped you through the storms when the weather improves? Do you turn your back on them without a backward glance?

Don't be that way. Be faithful. Be consistent. Be reliable. The Bible says, "Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful" (1 Corinthians 4 : 2). Faithfulness should extend beyond friendship or marriage; it should extend to God. Are you faithful to God? Do you want to hear the words, "Well done thou good and faithful servant"( Matthew 25 : 21) when you stand before God, or do you want to hear,  "Thou wicked and slothful servant"( v 26) . Begin by being faithful now in little things, in the way you treat others, and God will reward you for your faithfulness. 

Recommended reading

Pick up a copy of my book Women For All Seasons in time for Mother's Day and learn more about Ruth.  

What Makes Us Evil?

From the very beginning of the world there was evil.

And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.  And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart. Genesis 6 : 5 - 6.

That, to me, is one of the saddest verses in the Bible. To think that God, after making man in His own image and likeness should repent that He had made man. We had become so evil that even our Maker was grieved at our depravity. Can you imagine what He must be saying today? 

In every part of the world men take the time to carefully plot and carry out evil deeds. Here in the US it seems that evil is visiting us more and more frequently. Psychologists and researchers have found that the brain of psychopaths is different from the rest of the population. That there is a deformity in a part of the brain called the amygdala, which is the seat of emotion. Psychopaths lack emotion. Their actions are cold and calculated and they show little or no remorse for the things they do. 

So where does that leave us? Should we just sit back and say oh, well, these people can't help their actions? Or, is the evil person doomed to stay that way?  Psalm 34 : 14 says, "Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it." If God's word commands us to depart from evil, then it can be done. People who have committed themselves to carrying out evil deeds can have their lives turned around by the grace of God. 

Even researchers agree that children born with a damaged amygdala do not have to grow up to become psychopaths. Criminologist Nathalie Fontaine of Indiana University states,  "We can still help them. We can implement intervention to support and help children and their families, and we should." Another psychologist said, "Biology is not destiny." She said that children do not have to have brain surgery, they can be helped through "social" intervention.

The church is a part of society, isn't it? We can reach out to our youth who may be at risk and pray for them; we can speak to parents and teachers and use the power of the Holy Spirit to help these families.

Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted . Galatians 6 : 1. 

Ye which are spiritual, that means us, Christians. We are to do our best to restore or help to bring about change in those people. Can we? Will we?