A Prayer For Fathers

Happy Father's Day to all you strong, wonderful fathers out there. Today is your day, and I pray that you enjoy it to the fullest. I salute the young fathers especially who bring their families to church and take care of them during the service. I watch as they go off to the changing room, diaper bag in one hand and baby over their shoulder. That's an example of true fatherhood.

I also want to give a shout out to the fathers in my life - my oldest son Kevin, raising three children on his own since his wife's death. My son-in-law Mike, a strong, devoted father who always makes time to spend with his children and care for their needs. Last, but not least, my husband, TJ. What can I say about him? Even now that his children are grown, he remains a rock of support, wisdom, and strength to them.

I make no apologies for re-posting this article from last Father’s Day because I think it’s one of those evergreen ones. Fathers carry a heavy responsibility on their broad shoulders, and without God to help them carry it, they will collapse under the weight. So, father’s, stepfathers, fathers-in-law, this prayer is for you.

Heavenly Father, when you made man, you brought the woman to him and you said, "Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth" (Genesis 1: 28). You also provided the means for fathers to take care of their families, and I pray, Lord, that You will continue to equip these men and give them opportunities so they can provide well for their families.

Give them wisdom and direction "to train up their children in the way they should go so that when they are old, they will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22: 6). In their zeal to discipline their children, help fathers to "provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6: 4). 

May they always lead by example so their children can model their lives after a man who is loving but firm, patient but persevering, and who "will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord" (18: 19).

Father God, when tough times come, as they will, help our fathers to draw their strength from You, "to acknowledge you in all their ways, and You shall direct their paths" (Proverbs 3:6). Help them not to be discouraged but to recognize that they "can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" (Philippians 4: 13).

Help fathers to model true love and devotion to their wives, may they love them as Christ loves the church, (Ephesians 5 : 25), may they "dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel" (1 Peter 3: 7), so their sons will follow their example when they have wives, and their daughters will know what qualities to look for in the men they will marry.

And I pray, Lord, that You will bless these men and reward their work richly so that when the time comes they will hear the words, "well done thou good and faithful servant"(Matthew 25: 21).

Happy Father's Day!

What Does The Ideal Father Look Like?

I once heard a man say that people make far more fuss over Mother's Day than they do Father's Day. Well, according to statistics, Father's Day spending seems to be on the heels of Mother's Day figures by around five billion dollars. And Dad is not just getting neckties and socks anymore. He is getting high end products like ipads, cell phones and golf clubs.

That is all very good, but what do we want from Dad? When I listen to a lot of men speak, they don't seem to have had much of a relationship with their fathers. And that's a shame, because fathers are, or ought to be, the backbone of the home - the one who keeps it from falling apart. It is no secret that children from homes where the father is absent, physically or emotionally, are more likely to drop out of school and/or end up in jail or on the streets. Sadly, a disproportionate number of African American homes fall into this category.

So what does the ideal father do to keep his home strong and stable? As always, the answers are in the Bible. The ideal father:

1. Builds his house upon the rock. Jesus said, "Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock" (Matthew 7: 24 - 25).

What was Jesus referring to? He was referring to the storms of life that we all inevitably experience. The father who builds his house on the foundation of God's word does not have to fear the storms. His house will remain strong, no matter how much the storms rage.

2. Demonstrates love. Not just to his kids, but to those around him. He treats his wife like a queen; he does not abuse her or speak harshly to her, but loves her "as Christ loves the church." When his sons see that, they will follow his example. The ideal father demonstrates love to his children by the way he disciplines them - with love. The Bible says, "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath : but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6 : 4).

3. Gives. The ideal father gives to his family, his community and his church. He is not mean or stingy, but gives liberally of all that he has. He works hard to provide well for his family, but he also gives of his time. No amount of toys or gifts can replace the time a man spends with his family. The father who takes his sons fishing, his wife and/or daughters to the mall (yes, to the mall) or just hangs out with them on a weekend is more appreciated than the one who lavishes them with expensive gifts and then disappears until Sunday night. 

Being a father is no easy task, neither is it to be taken for granted. In order to be a good father a man needs to be equipped. There is only one training manual for that - the word of God. Fathers, read it daily. Feast on it day and night. Pray to God; He is the only ideal Father, but if you ask Him, He will give you the wisdom and strength to fulfill this exciting role. Call on Him today. Happy Father's Day! 

Redefining The Family

This past week one of my young co-workers broke the news that she was pregnant. We were all happy for her and told her so, but after the excitement died down, I felt a tinge of sadness. You see, my friend is unmarried and her baby's father lives in another country. Another young member of our team is also pregnant with her second child and has no intention of getting married any time soon.

In the first instance, my friend does have plans of joining her boyfriend at some time. They had been talking of marriage, but she didn't want to leave her dog, who is very old, and he didn't want to leave his country. They both agreed that when her dog dies they would make it legal. But meanwhile, a baby is on the way.

In another instance, the daughter of one of my friends decided that she wanted to have a baby because her biological clock was ticking away and she wasn't married or dating anyone. So off she went and had a baby by artificial insemination.

Do you see a pattern here? More and more women are taking it on themselves to have children outside of wedlock. Which brings me to another increasingly popular trend. Homosexual couples adopting babies or having babies through artificial means. All of this goes against God's plan for the family as laid out in the book of Genesis.

 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him (Genesis 2 : 18). 

And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said , This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.  And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed (22 - 25). 


I love the picture of God, our Father giving his daughter Eve to her husband Adam. It is the pattern we follow in a marriage ceremony where the father escorts his daughter to the altar and gives her to her husband to be joined in holy matrimony. Then they have children. Not the other way around. 

There are some single mothers who are probably doing a better job than their married counterparts. But I'm sure the single ones will be the first to admit that their job is a very difficult one. God never meant for us to carry the load alone. Just as a tasty dish requires a mixture of spices to bring out its true flavor, just so the family benefits from the unique strengths, abilities and personality that a man and a woman bring to it.

And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark, to keep them alive with thee; they shall be male and female (6 : 19).

Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. 10 For if they fall , the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth ; for he hath not another to help him up (Ecclesiastes 4 : 9 - 10).

The family, as instituted by God, is His plan for the furtherance of His kingdom on this earth and for our well-being. God has been around a lot longer than any of us and He knows what is best for us. So let us not go reshaping and redefining everything He created. We are only destroying ourselves in the process. Can we change course?

Is Your Dad Perfect?

Photo credit: manuere from morguefile.com Some people may answer  "yes" to this question, but I know some, men especially, who will give an unequivocal "no." It always saddens me when I hear the latter. My own father, who departed this life when I was just a little girl, was my hero. He taught me to read and spell while he indulged his hobby/part-time occupation -shoemaking. Needless to say, I had shoes to match every dress, and love shoes to this day.

My father also cultivated in me a love for reading and I became a good speller. I enjoyed going places with him, and when I heard his voice in the front yard in the evening, I would leave my mother and run to meet him. She often complained that I loved my father more than I did her, which wasn't true, of course. I was just fascinated with him - his voice, his smile, his jokes. The only bad thing I can recall about my dad is that he left me too soon. Late at night, quite suddenly and without warning. Died of a stroke in his sleep.

So, what about your dad? Is he flawless in your eyes? A man's man? A woman's man? As head of the home, fathers carry a heavy responsibility. They are entrusted with the task of providing, protecting and caring for the home and family. The mother is the one who nurtures, comforts and keeps the home together. However, a real father assumes the mother's role as well. The father who confronts the school bully is the same father who takes his little girl on his lap and reads her a bedtime story. Or tucks her in at night. Or takes her to the doctor when she is ill.

Sadly, some dads do not measure up to the ideal. Some walk out on their families and never look back. Others stay in the home, provide and protect but do little else. We need to pray for these fathers. I think of King David, a mighty man of God, but his track record as a father left a lot to be desired. His son, Amnon, raped his daughter Tamar (2 Samuel 13: 10 - 18) and even though the Bible says David was furious (v 21) he did nothing about it. Absalom, David's other son, had Amnon executed to avenge what he had done to his sister.

Later, Absalom fled from David and they didn't see each other for two years. Eventually, Absalom tried to take the throne from David and to murder him, but Absalom himself was killed. On hearing the news, David wept bitterly. "O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you--O Absalom, my son, my son!" (18: 33).

Many thoughts run through my mind when I think of David. After his sin with Bathsheba, the prophet, Nathan, told him, "Now, therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house ..." (12: 10). Oh, if David only knew the weight of those words. As a father, his sins fell not only on him, but on his children. Fathers, do not let this happen to you. The Bible says, "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4). Provide, protect and care for your family, but make sure you obey God's word. Happy Father's Day!