What Does The Ideal Father Look Like?

I once heard a man say that people make far more fuss over Mother's Day than they do Father's Day. Well, according to statistics, Father's Day spending seems to be on the heels of Mother's Day figures by around five billion dollars. And Dad is not just getting neckties and socks anymore. He is getting high end products like ipads, cell phones and golf clubs.

That is all very good, but what do we want from Dad? When I listen to a lot of men speak, they don't seem to have had much of a relationship with their fathers. And that's a shame, because fathers are, or ought to be, the backbone of the home - the one who keeps it from falling apart. It is no secret that children from homes where the father is absent, physically or emotionally, are more likely to drop out of school and/or end up in jail or on the streets. Sadly, a disproportionate number of African American homes fall into this category.

So what does the ideal father do to keep his home strong and stable? As always, the answers are in the Bible. The ideal father:

1. Builds his house upon the rock. Jesus said, "Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock" (Matthew 7: 24 - 25).

What was Jesus referring to? He was referring to the storms of life that we all inevitably experience. The father who builds his house on the foundation of God's word does not have to fear the storms. His house will remain strong, no matter how much the storms rage.

2. Demonstrates love. Not just to his kids, but to those around him. He treats his wife like a queen; he does not abuse her or speak harshly to her, but loves her "as Christ loves the church." When his sons see that, they will follow his example. The ideal father demonstrates love to his children by the way he disciplines them - with love. The Bible says, "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath : but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6 : 4).

3. Gives. The ideal father gives to his family, his community and his church. He is not mean or stingy, but gives liberally of all that he has. He works hard to provide well for his family, but he also gives of his time. No amount of toys or gifts can replace the time a man spends with his family. The father who takes his sons fishing, his wife and/or daughters to the mall (yes, to the mall) or just hangs out with them on a weekend is more appreciated than the one who lavishes them with expensive gifts and then disappears until Sunday night. 

Being a father is no easy task, neither is it to be taken for granted. In order to be a good father a man needs to be equipped. There is only one training manual for that - the word of God. Fathers, read it daily. Feast on it day and night. Pray to God; He is the only ideal Father, but if you ask Him, He will give you the wisdom and strength to fulfill this exciting role. Call on Him today. Happy Father's Day! 

5 Things To Look For In Mr. Right

 

Last week, we focused on qualities that a man would look for in a woman, and we looked at Ruth, a woman who got her man by exemplifying those qualities. Today, in keeping with the theme of love for this month, I want to look at qualities a woman would look for in a man. 

The Bible highlights many mighty men of God who were good husbands and fathers, but nowhere do we get a love story as intense or as fraught with difficulties as the one between Jacob and Rachel. And for that reason I chose Jacob. Yes, I know, his very name means 'trickster', but as we read in the book of Genesis, Jacob proved to be not just a good husband but a man who walked with God.

1.  A man of God. Jacob leaves home as his mother advised him, fearing that his brother Esau would kill him for stealing his birthright. On the first night of his journey, God appears to Jacob in a dream and promises to bless him and his seed. Jacob wakes up the next morning and consecrates that place to God. Later on, we'll see God's guidance and blessings following Jacob throughout his life.

2. A loving man. The next thing he does is kiss Rachel. I don't think this was a romantic kiss. The men of the town had told him that she is the daughter of his uncle, Laban, whom he's come looking for. The Bible says, "And Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice, and wept.  And Jacob told Rachel that he was her father's brother, and that he was Rebekah's son:" (Genesis 29 : 11 - 12). It could be that Jacob is overcome with emotion at finding his cousin.

3. A hard-working man. Women love a man who is responsible and hard-working. Jacob certainly proves that when he says to Laban, "I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter" ( v 18). The Bible goes on to say, "And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her" (v 20). When a man truly loves a woman nothing is too much for him to do for her. Jacob is not only hard-working, he is shrewd. When Laban tries to rob him of his wages, Jacob manipulates the livestock, causing him to own more than Laban and increase in wealth.

4. A faithful man. Jacob is faithful to Rachel even though he has children by three other women. This has to be looked at in the cultural norms of the time. It was common for a barren woman to give her maid to her husband in order to have children. Laban tricks Jacob by giving him Leah, his older daughter, instead of Rachel, on his wedding night. This starts a long, agonizing chain of events which Jacob seems unable to break out of.  

5. A committed man.  Eventually Jacob takes his wives and children and leaves Laban's home for good. However, he remains committed to Rachel and Joseph, the son she bore him. When he hears that his brother Esau is coming to meet him, Jacob thinks Esau is about to wreak vengeance on him for stealing his birthright. As Esau and his entourage draw near, Jacob puts Rachel and Joseph at the back of the other wives to spare them from being hurt. 

Ladies, your Mr. Right may not possess all the above qualities, but he should at least demonstrate the first and the last. Without those two, your relationship may be on rocky ground. If you are looking for Mr. Right, ask God to lead you to him.