What Frustrates You?

This is the second post in the series dealing with anger. Anger, as we have seen before is a normal, healthy reaction. Even Jesus became angry, (See John 2 : 15), but the way we express that anger is what really matters. In our normal, everyday life we come across people and situations which, if we are not careful, will frustrate us and lead to anger. Psychologists say that people who have a low frustration tolerance are more likely to have difficulty dealing with their anger.

So, how can you handle frustration in a godly manner?

The first way, of course, would be to pray about it. "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God" (Philippians 4 : 6). Turn that frustrating situation over to God. It may be something at home, at work, or even at church. Whatever it is, God can teach you how to handle it.

The second thing you can do is look for alternatives. Let's say you are frustrated by your daily commute to and from work. I know a lot of people are. What can you do about it? Can you take a different route? Leave home earlier, or later? Use public transport or car pool?

In some situations, you may have to practice being assertive. If it is a relationship problem, you may have to learn to assert your feelings. This means not allowing yourself to be a doormat, but instead communicating your needs- or frustrations- to the other person without becoming angry. "But speaking the truth in love ..."(Ephesians 4 : 15).

Another thing that may help is regular exercise. This releases endorphins in the brain, which help you feel good and combat the stress and frustration. Just half an hour of walking daily can clear your mind and help you deal with your frustration in a constructive way.

If all of these don't work, you may need to seek counseling. Your frustration and anger may stem from a chemical imbalance in the brain. You may need medication and counseling to help you restructure the way you perceive situations.

Why Are You So Angry?

Photo credit: lesterp4 from morguefile.com

It would seem that anger is everywhere - on the roads, in the home and in the workplace. Road rage has taken lives; in the home children and parents, husbands and wives scream at each other and violence often erupts in places of employment. Why is there so much anger? If you find yourself becoming angry very often, you may need to slow down and try to determine what are the underlying reasons for your anger.

Your anger may stem from one or more of the following:

1. Fear. Surprisingly enough, a person who is angry is usually afraid of something. This quote from a Star Wars episode states, "Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering."

2. Frustration. Are you frustrated by your attempts to succeed at something and always coming up short? If you are always frustrated, pretty soon you'll become angry.

3. Exhaustion. Have you found that you become irritable when you are tired? That irritation can turn into anger if you don't slow down and get some rest.

4. Environment. Anger can also be learned. If you live in an environment where everyone is angry all the time, you'll soon follow their example.

5. Worry. This often leads to fear, which, as we saw above can turn into anger.

Anger in itself is not always a bad thing. It's how that anger is channeled that will determine whether you overcome it or allow it to overcome you. Ecclesiastes 7 : 9 says, "Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry : for anger resteth in the bosom of fools." Ephesians 4 : 26 says, "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:" However, there are many references to people in the Bible who became angry. Remember Moses? Great man of God, chosen to lead God's people out of the bondage of Egypt. But if Moses had a psychiatrist he would have ended up in anger management classes. Because he couldn't control his anger, he was not allowed to enter the promised land.

Is your anger preventing you from enjoying the promises that God has for you? If yes, you need to confess it before God and ask Him to remove it from you. Jesus warned, "whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say , Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire" (Matthew 5 : 22).

Anger can be a destructive force that prevents you from enjoying God's best and also land you in a lot of trouble. It can also be the catalyst that drives you to make positive changes in your life and the lives of others. In the coming weeks I will continue to explore other aspects of this emotion.

When Everything Goes Wrong

Photo credit: alvimann from morguefile.com Have you had one of those times when everything that could go wrong does go wrong? You know, the cat gets stuck in the tree, your dog runs away from you and your best friend moves to Timbuktu? I had one of those last weekend (which is why I had no blog post). But I don't have a cat nor a dog and if my best friend ever moves to Timbuktu, well there'll be no more blog posts from me. So what did happen?

Moving to a new location can be accompanied by stress, but if you're moving from one state to another, it can be even more stressful. And this is what happened to me last weekend. I became so stressed I thought I would have a heart attack. Now that I look back on it I ask myself, why did I become so stressed? I know the answer. Nothing went according to plan. People who were supposed to help me either came too late or just didn't show up.

Be anxious for nothing

After I had calmed down, I looked to my Bible for answers. I asked God to forgive me because I know what His word says about plans, about anxiety and about people. Proverbs 12 : 25 says, "An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up." Philippians 4 : 6 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Did I know these verses of scripture before? Of course I did, but I allowed anxiety to consume my being until all I could see was the mammoth task ahead of me. 


God may stop your plans


I had everything figured out - or so I thought. I would go to the house, finish my packing and at the prearranged time, the people would come and get everything on the truck and I would be out of there. In the Bible we see many people whose plans failed. David was one of them. Even though he was "a man after God' s heart", his plans to build a temple for God came to naught because God didn't want him to. (1 Chronicles 28: 3). 


People may stop your plans


When Zerubbabel and his friends assembled in Jerusalem to build the temple of the Lord, they came up against serious opposition from their enemies. These people went so far as to write a letter to the king, telling him that if the wall was rebuilt the city would lose revenue. No king likes to hear this and so King Xerxes issued an order and the project came to a screeching halt. Their plans failed even though they were doing something for God. 


Proverbs 19 : 21 says, "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails." I couldn't understand why my plans failed and, I daresay, neither could Zerubbabel and his friends.


What can we do when our plans fail? Should we gnaw our nails and pull our hair in frustration? David and Zerubbabel were godly men and yet their plans fell apart. We should not think that God is against us. The Bible says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29 : 11). 


So, here are a few things we can do:


1. Search His Word to see what is His will concerning your plans. (Psalm 119 : 105)
2. As God to take charge. (Proverbs 16 : 3)
3. Seek advice from others, (Proverbs 15 : 22; 20 : 18)
4. Take time to plan  ( Proverbs 21 : 5)
5. Do not trust solely in man, but in God. (Psalm 118: 8)


God wants you blessed, He wants your plans to succeed, but according to His will and in His time. Years later, under King Darius, the Jews were given free reign to build the temple. David allowed his son, Solomon, to build the temple as God had instructed him and this weekend I succeeded in getting my furniture and other belongings moved out of the house.